Breaking News! A New Speed Record!

In October 2024, I posted about a new speed record for the consecration of the elements of Holy Communion in a piece called “Twenty-Three Seconds Flat.” I wish I could remember who it was that pulled off this remarkable feat (4.7 words per second). It was an LCMS megachurch, but it was at their “traditional” service.

But what I saw today blew the old record out of the water: 19 seconds (5.6 words per second). This was also at an LCMS megachurch, but one that uses exclusively the CoWo format. Not slowed down aerodynamically by alb and stole, this pastor shattered the old record by a full four seconds!

Four seconds, ladies and gentlemen!

The twenty-second barrier has been broken. This is like the four-minute mile. I suspect that this record will be like Beamon’s long jump - whose record stood for almost 23 years. This is like Secretariat winning by 31 lengths. This is like Wilt Chamberlain’s 100-point game, still an NBA record since 1962.

This performance may be approaching the limits of human ability. Of course, when we have AI consecration, all bets are off. But until that time, this guy is the undisputed champion. I have never seen anything like it.

But then again, records are made to be broken. As techniques continue to improve, as equipment becomes more sophisticated, as men of great ability enter the arena, who knows what could happen? So if anyone sees a better consecration than 19 seconds, please pass it along. That would make history!