Honoring and Celebrating Holy Marriage in Holy Faith and Holy Love
In his lectures on Genesis 24:22, “When the camels had done drinking, the man took a gold ring weighing a half shekel, and two bracelets for her arms weighing ten gold shekels,” Dr. Luther comments beautifully on the appropriate celebration of holy marriage, in a way that speaks to many other aspects of earthly life:
“What is related in this passage seems completely carnal and worldly to reason, and I myself wonder why Moses has so much to say about such unimportant matters when above he has been very concise in the case of matters that are far more sublime. There is no doubt, however, that the Holy Spirit wanted these things to be written and to stand out for our instruction; for in the Holy Scripture nothing unimportant is put before us, and nothing unprofitable. . . .
“This chapter (Genesis 24) has invited us to Rebecca’s marriage. Therefore let us hear the nuptial song as an example for young people, in order that they may learn to have honorable sentiments about marriage and both sexes, matters that are disparaged among the heathen, as can be observed in the Greek and Latin poets; for young people consider solely the flesh and thus insult God the Creator. We should put the text of Holy Scripture before their eyes. . . .
“God wants weddings to be regarded with honor, in order to attract young people to an honorable marriage in contrast with pollutions of every kind and with promiscuity. Therefore He praises this moderate and honorable display and wanted it recorded. In the eyes of the monks it appears to be luxury. But it was His purpose to bear witness that the finery, the banquets, and the merriment connected with the wedding meet with His approval because of the final cause of marriage, which is the begetting and upbringing of children and the governing of the household, the state, and the church.
“This should be stressed in opposition to the gloomy hypocrites, who consider it piety and saintliness to abstain from gold, silver, food, clothing, or the like. Such abstinence does not please God. Indeed, He has appointed us lords and rulers of all things, over sheep and oxen and the entire earth (Ps. 8:7-8; Gen. 1:29-30). He assigns to us not only the possession of and the dominion over things but also their use. He wants us to preserve our bodies, not to kill them. Therefore He has given us food, drink, clothing, the sun, and the moon; and in this way He permits display and finery at a wedding.
“Let those who have been delivered from the condition human beings have in common be so; and let them delight in their gift of chastity. But this does not mean that the others sin when they marry and make merry in the manner customary at marriages. Indeed, God praises this and has much to say about married couples. Here the Holy Spirit adorns the bride in a wonderful way, as though nothing else were left for Him to concern Himself about or to teach.
“But it is not our intention to provide a defense for the wicked Epicureans and antinomians in this way. If they hear this, they look for nothing but excessive luxury and gluttony, in which they exceed all bounds and transgress the laws of godliness and respectability. Thus in our customs too one sees horrible licentiousness in dress, finery, and banquets. Everyone supposes that he is allowed to do what he pleases without giving any consideration either to his station or to respectability. The burghers want to outdo the nobles with their expenditures and splendor; the nobles want to equal the princes and kings. This is departing too far to the right.
“We condemn the Stoics and the monks, who believe that these worldly things, as they call them, are condemned by God. They praise their own works as heavenly and spiritual and refrain from these permissible joys with the most impious aim, as though they had a unique way of worshiping God which earns for them and others the remission of sins. Therefore let him who is able adorn himself, and let him even wear a golden garment in order to contradict their superstition and to tread it underfoot. For God has given us physical gifts that we may make use of them. But we should do so with thanksgiving.
“On the other hand, we also condemn the excess and luxury of those who want to adorn themselves, to dress, and to revel in an extravagant manner without any fear of God. By contrast, these people — Rebecca and her parents, likewise Abraham and Isaac — lived in great humility and godliness, and they used this display (1) to honor marriage and (2) on account of the future generation, the church, and the state. And they did so in the fear of God, in faith, and with thanksgiving.
“Hypocrites do not do this. They imagine that they are showing deference to God if they abstain. Nor do gluttons observe moderation, who imagine that it is godly and permitted to stuff themselves and to misuse the creatures of God. Thus neither hypocrites nor gluttons have a correct understanding of Scripture. There is a time for feasting, fasting, mourning, and rejoicing. It is proper to mourn with those who are mourning, and God says that He will dwell with the humble and contrite heart that trembles at His words. On the other hand, He does not hinder an upright and believing heart when it rejoices in the Lord. As a matter of fact, He praises it. One should live a spiritual life, but in such a manner that the physical life, too, has its recreation, especially among those who are in great troubles or trials and are plagued with sleeplessness. . . .
“Hence we ought to steer a middle course, lest we become either Epicureans and dissolute or hypocrites and gloomy monks. Weddings should not be stripped of respectable displays and of respectable pleasures; but excesses by day and by night, extravagance in clothing, or unseemly pranks should in no wise be tolerated, because they are condemned in Holy Scripture.
“Besides, God dislikes gloominess and is fond of a cheerful and upright heart; for there is enough other affliction and sorrow which the devil inflicts. The body must receive its honor and care, yet in such a way that it does not become wanton and addicted to every kind of depravity. Therefore a godly husband who carries heavy burdens in the government, in the church, or in the household should seek refreshment for his spirit. But if he is idle and devotes himself solely to swilling and gormandizing, he is committing a grave sin” (Luther’s Lectures on Genesis, Luther’s Works AE 4, pages 274–278).