“Let’s Take It to the Next Level”
This video is illustrative.
This is one of the inherent problems with the Church Growth mindset. It’s all about number-lust, and it is never enough. The Church Growther is never satisfied. It’s built-in to the fabric of the universe. For numbers are infinite. There is always a higher number. In the world of mathematics, there is always a “next level,” even as the flesh is never satisfied.
It is a variation of Mammon-worship (Eccl 5:10), the idol of Quantity. Screwtape would be especially giddy if he were to write to Wormwood about how they come out and say that they ‘worship’ x number of people, instead of saying that they worship the Triune God. It is a little victory for the devil by means of grammar: a mockery of the Word by the perversion of words.
Church Growthism is a kind of ecclesiastical nymphomania: a carnal urge that is never satisfied (Prov 27:20).
They never say how glorious their worship was because Jesus was truly gloriously present by means of a miracle, and the Word of God, the Holy Gospel, was read, proclaimed, and explicated. It’s always about bombastic numbers, ever-new gimmicks, off-the-chain programs, and hyped-up spectacles - like the late night salesman waving his arms and raving that ‘Everything must go!’ It is as if Elijah were to learn that God really was in the wind, the earthquake, and the fire, and not in the still, small voice.
I have heard Roman Catholics speak of the “miracle of the Mass.” We Lutherans would do well to speak the same way. For though on paper we confess the miracle, we seldom talk about it that way. Worse yet, so many of our churches and pastors don’t behave like they believe it. And it isn’t only the LCMS megachurches and wannabes who ape Big Eva non-denominational worship. I’m thinking about the online service that I once saw of a celebrant - vested in alb and stole - who rattled off the Words of Institution with robotic indifference in 23 seconds flat. And, of course, to achieve these kinds of auctioneer statistics, the celebrant can’t be bothered with rubrical speedbumps, like elevating, genuflecting, and chanting. There can be no pauses to give thanks (Eucharisteo!) and praise to the Creator of the universe who deigns to condescend to us in His miraculous incarnational mercy. No, indeed. There is a kickoff to get to.
The lust for numbers is a pathology that affects all of us. It is easy to see empty pews and be disappointed, deflated, and discouraged. It is a temptation to change, to de-emphasize the objective coming of Christ to us, and start looking to the business world, to marketing, hype, branding, and the psychology of mass manipulation to get those numbers up, to “worship” more people at our services.
I communed twelve people at last Wednesday night’s service: the same number as our Lord did when He established the Eucharist.
In the eyes of the Church Growth Movement, this is an abject failure. It means that I should make changes to the service. It means that I am doing something wrong. It means that my members are likewise to blame. It means that we aren’t sexy enough for a world shaped by exciting movies and larger-than-life sports events, and the instant gratification and convenience of on-demand streaming to a wall-sized flat-screen HDTV with surround sound. It means that I should hire consultants - who charge by the hour (like a no-tell motel) - to come in and teach us how to market ourselves better, and how to gin up the excitement of our services.
It is especially amusing when these Church Growth “consultants” and “coaches” set their prices to end in all nines ($99/month for a “membership”, or $159.99 on the a la carte menu) mimicking the world’s marketing techniques to squeeze the heads off of every penny and psychologically lure in customers. There are also self-certified trainers, coaches, and “networks” who will - for a nice fee - come to your congregation or district to hawk their wares. And they don’t work for peanuts. Dr. Luther might ask them why they don’t volunteer their services “for the sake of holy love and of the dire need of the souls” instead of for the “sake of miserable money.” Of course, a worker must be paid his wages, but given that this is supposedly a ministry, would any of these consultants and coaches and experts from afar do it for free? Would they be willing to put on an orange apron at Home Depot a few hours a week in order to carry out this “ministry” - the way a lot of our parish pastors and school teachers do? Is it really a “ministry” or is it really an “income stream”?
One of these “networks” (they love that term, and it is a big red flag) operates off of the crack-dealer marketing model, in which they will give your church a 30-minute free session during which they’ll try to upsell you. They used to be pretty active in LCMS politics, but they seem to have gone dormant in that regard. And speaking of dormant, back in the Kieschnick years, the Transforming Churches Network (ding, ding, ding!) was all the rage, and had buy-in from the LCMS leadership. Today, their website is vacant, and their phone number is dead (“We're sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service”). If they still exist, it would be interesting to hear their spin as to why I should take business and marketing advice from a “network” that has had its phone service cut off.
And unlike a lot of people who claim to be experts in the world of business and marketing, I had a pre-seminary career as an IT consultant. So all of their jargon, argot, and cant doesn’t work its magic on me the way it seems to enamor some of our more naïve leaders and pastors. And I am grateful to God that he called me into the office of the holy ministry only after a previous career. For that is where my Bubulum Stercus detector was built, installed, and received subsequent upgrades. I can smell a grift a mile away no matter which way the wind is blowing. So, you see, I am not completely unsympathetic to applying lessons learned in the business world to ecclesiastical wisdom.
One of the most important lessons I learned in my early days in IT was taught to me in New York by a fat, balding, bespectacled middle-aged man in an untucked white shirt and wrinkled tie, spoken in a heavy Brooklyn accent: “It’s all pimps and whores, Larry. Pimps and whores.” That lesson stuck with me my whole IT career working for Fortune 500 companies - in which I was generally treated quite well - as well as into my church ministry - early on in which I was treated to the most diabolical ugliness by my superiors. Granted, my example is anecdotal, but in conversation with other “second career” guys, it seems to be a shared experience. I’m waiting for a few more funerals before I write in more detail about it. It is a case study. We in the church should fight the devil instead of shrugging with impotent resignation and responding passively with bromides about Satan building a chapel next to the church. Maybe we need to start bulldozing the “chapels” and exorcising the demons instead of tolerating or enriching them through avaricious grift or cowardly organizational inertia.
For in every one of its incarnations - the Church Growth Movement is just the same old you-know-what repackaged for a new decade. And it is indeed a lot of pimps and whores. Don’t shoot me, I’m just the messenger. I’m just applying what I learned in the world of business, and am making connections and “leaning in” to a “conversation.”
All that said, It is interesting how numbers are used in Scripture. Indeed, one of the five books of Moses has that very title. And this is because God ordered the Israelites to number themselves as they prepared to invade and conquer Canaan. But we see another census later on that brought God’s wrath upon Israel. For this one was not commanded by God, but was King David falling into sin, into putting his trust in princes instead of the Word and promises of God.
So there is a time and place for taking count, but there is also great temptation to worldliness in doing so.
When our Lord communed twelve at the inaugural Eucharist, there was no talk about numbers, branding, logos, marketing, or organizational psychology. Instead, there was a celebrant (or rather the Celebrant), bread, wine, and a dozen communicants (whom Jesus was not worshiping). God was present in a miracle, and He was received miraculously by eating and drinking. And the miracle of the Mass is ongoing to this very day. There was even a traitor in their midst, who would indeed receive the Holy Supper to his judgment.
Shortly afterwards, we do see thousands coming to faith, and Scripture does give us a headcount. But notice what is not in St. Luke’s “census” of Pentecost: a vainglorious self-administered pat on the back and taking credit for their use of the world’s techniques employed in the marketplace and in the councils of worldly government. All the apostles did was preach as the Spirit led them (the miracle of the sermon), the Spirit blew where He willed, and people came to faith. The apostles were preachers and ministers of the Word and of the Sacraments, not consultants and coaches charging by the hour. They were a ministerium, not a network. St. Luke does introduce us to the church’s first attempt at hourly-rate life-coach consulting in the interest of commodifying Church Growth: it was a guy named Simon.
In fact, pushing back against the Church Growth grift is part of our Lutheran heritage, and arguably the start of it.
Another side effect about ecclesiological numerology (as an observant lady pointed out in a discussion of this topic on social media), is the reduction of souls to numbers on a ledger. Instead of referring to God’s children, young and old, by name, the Church Growth model seeks to speak of x hundreds or y thousands (“Saul has his thousands…”), as if we were talking about a production line of widgets on a conveyor belt instead of individual souls, unique creatures made and redeemed by a God who loves them. As C.S. Lewis reminds us, we have “never talked to a mere mortal.” And this is a real danger for the pastor who needs to manage his flock by means of a spreadsheet, who is too busy to make hospital calls and shut-in visits, who instead delegates such hands-on pastoral work to non-pastors - an evasion of responsibility that is given the euphemism of “empowering the priesthood of believers” or “equipping the saints,” freeing up pastors to attend best practices conferences, and to have bean-counting meetings and planning sessions to come up with a new mission statement.
Once again, we can practically hear Screwtape giggling over the severance of shepherd from sheep by means of self-important CEO-style number-lust.
So even if we only have a dozen souls - or even only two or three - beloved of the Lord, partaking in the miraculous appearance of Jesus in space and time in our midst, we do not have to “take it to the next level.” For we have already been raised to the very highest level of all: eternal immortality and communion with the living God. This Gospel is not for sale, it cannot be franchised, and it is not measured by the world’s metrics. It is given to us by the Lord Himself, by means of the miracle preaching and sacraments, because He loves each one of us.