On Delinquents

Pastoral care is an art, not a science. Thus there is seldom a one-size-fits-all solution to dealing with every parish and every parishioner.

All pastors deal with wandering sheep. There are the lazy, the uncommitted, the hostile, the distracted, and those who lose their faith - and it manifests itself by the term of art: “delinquency.” We in the office of the ministry have authority, but not in the same way as a judge who can issue a subpoena or a warrant. We can invite and encourage; we can warn and call to repent; we can place the cross and the gospel before the eyes of those whom God has placed under our spiritual care. But we cannot compel.

We live in a culture dominated by the paradigm that “You don’t need to go to church to be a Christian.” For many understand the Christian faith as holding a certain intellectual belief about God and/or Jesus - and it is manifested by being “nice.” Our Zeitgeist is dominated by those who see church as the giving and receiving of information: data that can quite literally be downloaded at home without the need to get dressed, go to a physical place, and sit still in a public setting for an entire hour. We live in a religious culture dominated by those who do not believe anything supernatural happens when Christians gather on the Lord’s Day. Many find hymns and sermons simply boring and irrelevant.

And so when we have delinquent members, they are often either nonplussed by our entreaties, or bitterly offended: “Are you saying that I’m going to hell?” Sometimes they will then spread their discontent to family members and friends in the congregation: “Pastor said that I’m going to hell.” Then their friends and family members typically side with blood rather than with baptismal water, put the worst construction on the pastor (who “said that Aunt Sally is going to hell”), and join in a rebellion of indignance to rally around the “abused” and “abased” family member - who is quite objectively despising “preaching and His Word” and engaging in a form of self-excommunication. This is followed by grievance-collecting about not being visited in the hospital (no matter that nobody bothered to call the pastor), an alleged lack of a handshake at the end of the service, and other paint-by-numbers narratives of self-justification of one’s reasons for staying away from the church.

In a polity without a bishop, there is nothing to prevent people from rage-transferring to the neighboring congregation. Sometimes this is even done without a transfer. In the chase for more members, pastors are often eager to receive new members and uncritically believe their trashtalk. Discipline is thus limited to a parishioner’s voluntary submission to a pastor, and if the person believes his non-attendance is justified, then the pastor has no grounds to call him to repentance.

On the one hand, a pastor may leave the delinquent alone for the good of the rest of the congregation (especially in places where everyone is related and the pastor is an “outsider”). On the other hand, the pastor may confront the delinquent for the sake of his soul (and that of his immediate family members as well). It is a no-win situation for a pastor who seeks to be faithful. There is also the increasing reality of mental health issues that complicates matters.

Over the years, I have had people whom I have never met - and I have been pastor of my congregation for twenty years - claim to be members, demand a funeral for a relative, a wedding, a baptism, or to casually receive the Sacrament of the Altar in a rare visit (motivated by family realities). I have called people to return to church only to have the intricate web of familial relations cause disruption in the parish. Sometimes the very same people who insist on putting the “six times a year” communion requirement in the constitution erupt in outrage when their own children - who have absented themselves for years - are refused Holy Communion or a wedding or some other benefit of church membership. I have baptized children whom I strongly suspect will never be confirmed, and their parents simply never return to church after the baptism - even for years - until a grandparent dies or another family member is baptized.

So what should a pastor do?

First of all, I think it bears repeating that pastoral care is an art and not a science. Our Germanic nature usually dictates that we seek an answer to pastoral issues as if it were algebra or an engineering problem. But it isn’t. There is much to consider. There are good reasons for different - even contradictory - approaches. The pastoral office is a challenging vocation for those who are not able to think flexibly. But that said, different pastors in different parishes have different approaches to this same issue.

Within The Gottesdienst Crowd, the Rev. David Petersen’s pastoral advice in this matter is to give delinquents a few chances to return to church attendance. It they don’t respond, they should simply be removed from membership. On the other hand, the Rev. (and now District President) Heath Curtis sees things differently (as he explains in his wonderful booklet, The Small Town Lutheran Church & Pastor) - allowing delinquents to remain on the roster even for years. Sometimes, as goes his argument, God Himself will call them back, and we can be ready to receive them. As for me, I see benefits and drawbacks to both approaches. I also see where the culture of the community and congregation may play into a pastor’s approach in his own congregational setting.

I would like to hear more. Maybe this would be a good topic for The Gottesdienst Crowd podcast: to have a discussion between both of these faithful pastors, not as a debate to see who is “right,” but rather as a discussion to hash out the reasoning behind both of these veteran pastors coming to the different conclusions that they have.