Editor's Note: The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod recently sold Classic-99, an award winning classical music station in St. Louis, for $26 million dollars. The Board of Directors was desirous that it be sold not just to anybody - they wanted it to go to Baptist sectarians: Albert Pujols (Pooh-holes) and Kurt Warner helped to finance what will soon be a Christian, i.e., Anabaptist and Arminian, rock station (Seriously: I am not making up). Few know that the CSL Board of Regents also recently made a sale. . .
Luther Tower Sold to Rockingest Bidder
(St. Louis) Concordia Seminary said Tuesday that it plans to sell its 49-bell carillon and the tower which houses it to the Christian hard rock band The Letter Black.
The seminary Board of Regents approved the sale for an undisclosed amount. In a statement, the seminary said that decreasing profits from the June carillon recital series which have been held on campus for an undisclosed number of years warranted the sale.
The Letter Black plans to switch the carillon recital series to hard Christian rock. They also hope to use the tower as a venue for photo shoots of themselves looking pained and ironic. In a statement, the band said, "Carillons are way beat. Concordia Seminary has finally figured out where the Christians are." The Letter Black additionally intends to record an album which pays tribute to Concordia Seminary's rich heritage by remixing timeless hymns of the faith such as "It Is Well With My Soul" and "This Is My Father's World" with some fresh carillon beats counterbalancing the band's signature snarl.
"Nay, we are but men: Rock!"
Adolf Hohenhaugehahnheidenhardezollern, a retired music professor who has not missed a carillon concert since 1973, expressed resignation to the sale. "Reckon those folks know what they're doing," he shrugged, folding up a lawn chair with the seat and back made of woven green nylon straps, only slightly frayed. Asked if he would continue attending the June concert series, Hohenheidenhardehahnhaugezollern said thoughtfully, "Is American Idol on Tuesday nights? I've been thinking about getting into that."
The carillon bells are dedicated to the memory of all Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod pastors.