Dear Pastor,

Please, for the love of God's people and all things holy, stop writing your own liturgies. The results are often embarrassing, always sectarian, and almost all of the time just a chance for you to beat your hobby horses to death. As an example of all of the above I enclose a copy of the preparatory rite (wait: best not to call it a rite, as you will see) from a recent Nebraska District Pastors' Conference.

Please stop; please.

Sincerely,

Agnus T. Sheep, parishioner